CHAPTER 1 

St. Petersburg, late 1902 

‘Really, darling Nanny, I cannot possibly marry a man I do not love.’
Tanya’s voice rang out in harmony with the shaft-bow bell of the open sleigh. The fast moving troika took the women along a road outside the capital.
  ‘Anyway, I am not ready for marriage, my career must come first,’ she added.
  ‘Twenty-five is not too young to marry,’ countered the plump, middle aged woman sitting beside her. She pulled up the bear-skin rug to shield them from the cold. ‘Besides, why do you want to be a surgeon, cutting up people? It’s not fitting for a proper lady like you.’
  ‘Not again, Nanny!’ exclaimed Tanya. ‘I did not spend all these years becoming a doctor, just so I can give it up for some man, and definitely not for the man Mama wants me to marry.’
  ‘You know Princess Vera only wants what’s best for you,’ said Nanny. ‘She thinks it would be to your advantage to marry Mr. Boonin.’
  ‘I know Mama means well.’ Tanya never doubted her adoptive parents’ love for her. Princess Vera and Prince Cyril were the only family she had since they took her in at the age of four. Nanny frequently spoke of Tanya’s mother who had died giving birth to her. But whenever Tanya wanted to know about her father, Nanny would shake her head. A real saint he was, she would say, always so kind to all of us.  What a horrible way to die, falling from the loft in the stable. And on your birthday too. Nanny would invariably cry and change the subject.
It was hard for Tanya to make Mama understand that she did not want to marry her suitor. Trying to explain her general fear of men was out of the question. How could she do it when she herself found it impossible to make sense of her inner turmoil and confusion on the subject?
Tanya looked at Nanny. She loved this peasant woman and sensed that she was torn between loyalty and her traditional beliefs. Nanny had not enjoyed living with her in Vienna while she had been studying, but being devout, she accepted things as God’s will.
  ‘Look Nanny,’ Tanya continued, ‘when the hospital offered me the job here, I told them they would not regret taking me on. I must justify their trust in me.’ Tanya squeezed Nanny’s hand in a manner which needed an answer.
  ‘I guess you know about these things more than I do.’ Nanny sighed. ‘Mind you, please listen to what your mother has to say.’
  ‘Nanny, you are wonderful!’ Tanya gushed. ‘I will speak to Mama, and I pray to God she sees it my way.’
  ‘Tanya, the good looking Count Orlov wouldn’t have anything to do with your lack of interest in Mr. Boonin?’
  Tanya’s cheeks, already pink from the cold, turned crimson.  ‘Don’t be silly Nanny, I only saw him from a distance the other day, and anyway I have no time for this nonsense. Besides, Mama tells me he is busy partying with his friends and gypsy girls.’ But she had to admit to herself that she had rather fancied the brief but intense gaze Orlov gave her the other day.
  ‘I like him,’ Nanny said with a broad smile.
‘You old devil, why don’t you marry him.’ Tanya laughed, her face lighting up.
  '‘Oh Tanya, don’t make fun of an old woman.’ Nanny put on a mock hurt.
Tanya nudged her with her elbow, and Nanny, unable to keep up the pretence, burst out laughing.
The women’s laughter made the horses prick up their ears.
  ‘Denis, why are we dawdling?’ Tanya asked the coachman. ‘Show us what the horses can do.’
Denis, a wily man with freckles covering the parts of his face not hidden behind the bushy reddish beard and moustache, responded with an impish smile. ‘Yes, Miss Tanya. He smacked his lips, jerking the reins a few times. ‘Hey you lazy lot, get a move on.’
The centre-shaft horse, a large liver-chestnut with a white mane, began to canter. The outriggers, smaller shiny blacks with white socks, dug their hooves deeper into the fresh snow cover.
   ‘Faster, faster,’ yelled the women, laughing and squealing with delight.
Denis turned around to make sure all was safe in the back. ‘Hold on,’ he shouted.
His hands lifted the reins and lowered them onto the horses’ backs. With his mouth open and his tongue behind his teeth making clicking sounds, he urged on his charges.
  The horses needed no encouraging. The troika flew along the road; the frozen snow crunched under the hooves, the runners screeched under the sledge. The tinkling of small harness bells merged with the excited screams coming from the back of the sleigh. Amid the noise and agitation, only Denis seemed to be calm and in control, sitting high on the front bench, holding up the reins.
  Every trace was now strung tight. The chestnut swayed from side to side, increasing speed all the time, his head held high in the air. The outriggers arched their necks like swans, their chests facing slightly to each side, giving the impression of galloping sideways. A big white plume trailed behind the sleigh.
  The women held onto their fur hats, the wind-blown snow bit into their faces and eyes.
Tanya was warm and snug, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of the ride. She felt elated, forgetting her doubts about the future. She loved these wintry outings in the countryside almost as much as she loved the summer holidays in the Crimea.
  Suddenly the wind across Tanya’s face dropped. Denis had slowed down the troika as they entered the outskirts of the capital. The women looked at each other and started to laugh with abandon.
  ‘Your eyebrows and eyelashes look like they’ve been dipped in whipped cream,’ shouted Tanya.
  ‘You should see yourself,’ Nanny giggled, tears filling her eyes, ‘you look like Father Frost, with fiery sloe eyes.’
  They hugged each other, enjoying the rare moment of childlike pleasure.
Denis swung the troika into the Nevsky Prospect, where shoppers darted in and out of the stores lined up on both sides of the main avenue. Coachmen stood in groups, smoking and swapping yarns, waiting for their employers to emerge with Christmas parcels.
  The troika turned into a road running alongside one of the many canals that prompted the inhabitants to call the city The Venice of the North. Stately homes lined both sides of the canal. They swept through the entrance to a garden, separated from the street by a wrought iron fence, and stopped under a portico of the two storey mansion.
  Tanya sprang from the sleigh and rushed up the steps. Turning back, she shouted, ‘Come on Nanny, race you to the living room.’
Nanny waddled heavily up the steps, muttering, ‘Crazy girl, what does she think I am, a fawn?’
Tanya stopped on the landing, and looked at the house. A footman opened the front door to let her into the vestibule. Suddenly a sense of unease overtook her joyous mood. She would have to talk to her mother about her suitor. She did not look forward to the conversation.

Tanya sent the upstairs maid away and examined herself in the full length mirror. She had swept her hair up in a quickly improvised bun, exposing her long and slender neck, and changed into the pale blue silk dress made for her in Vienna just before coming home. It hugged her slim waist and shapely hips, and flared out below the knees to full floor length.
Her examination was interrupted by a knock on the door. Princess Vera entered Tanya’s room asking if she had enjoyed her sleigh ride.
  The Princess was a woman in her late fifties. Her parents were one of Russia’s famous noble families. As a young woman, she had served for some time as a maid-of-honour to Empress Maria. She married Prince Cyril Morozov on the advice of her Queen. There was no intense love between them either before or after the marriage. However she considered her arranged match to be a great success.
  Being childless, the Princess devoted a large part of her life to charitable causes and life at the Court. She and her husband brought up Tanya as their own daughter. To find a right husband for her would be the best reward for years of love and care.
  Because their adopted daughter was not of noble birth, they could not arrange a title for her. Admittedly Boonin had no title either, but he was a man of means with a good Government post. They were pleased he was exhibiting an interest in marrying their charge.
  Vera was ample in girth and small in stature. The full bell-shaped dresses she favoured made her look like a gliding stout bottle with a wide neck and a round stopper. Her puffy cheeks wobbled like jelly every time she moved her head.
  She more than made up for her comical appearance with her personality and sparkling aquamarine eyes which gazed impishly at anyone she addressed. Not being particularly clever, she conquered people with her kindness and good-natured humour.
  Tanya was fond of this affectionate lady who never pretended to be her natural mother, but she often wondered what her natural mother would have been like, had she lived.
  ‘Darling Tanyichka, you look lovely, and so healthy. Those pink cheeks, and the dress - positively beautiful! It fits you perfectly,’ Vera said. ‘Wish I had your shape,’ she added, examining her own body and pouting her lips in feigned hurt.
  ‘At my age you were probably slim,’ Tanya tried to comfort Vera.
  ‘Never! I was always plump, and I put on weight after I married. Never mind, I don’t need to be slim now. I already have my man, and your Papa likes me this way. But you are different. A young woman of your age should be trim if she is to attract her future husband.’
 Here it comes, Tanya shuddered inwardly.
   ‘Take Mr. Boonin for instance,’ the Princess went on. ‘He is rightly impressed with you. He comes from such a good and well-off family. His late father was a State Councillor and he himself has an excellent future.  You two would be a good team, don’t you think?’ The Princess gave Tanya one of her disarming looks.
Tanya steeled herself to be resolute. ‘Look Mama, first impressions are so important, and I did not like him one little bit. He gave me the shivers when he stood near me. Besides, I am not ready to marry anyone just yet. When I marry, I want to give my love and my time to my husband. At the moment I have neither for this man.’
Vera sighed deeply, but said nothing. After a long uncomfortable silence she said, ‘My dear Tanya, neither Papa nor I wish to insist on this marriage. We both only want what is best for you. But please don’t be hasty in your judgement. I admit Mr. Boonin doesn’t impress at first blush, but give him time. You will warm to him.’
She held Tanya’s hand and looked deeply into her eyes. ‘And he is a good man,’ she added.
Tanya felt a knot in her stomach and her eyes filled with tears.
  ‘All right, all right, my darling, take it easy,’ Vera cooed. ‘You don’t have to make up your mind right away.’ She embraced her daughter, patted her back repeatedly and guided her to the Turkish divan, where she allowed her to sit down and nestled herself next to her. ‘It will all turn out fine with God’s help, you’ll see,’ she said as she stroked her hand.
  Tanya calmed down a little. It hurt her to disappoint Mama, but how could she agree to marry the repulsive Boonin? And it was not just him. The mere idea of an intimate touch by a man brought on a violent reaction in her, a feeling she could neither understand nor control. Finally she heard herself say, ‘Don’t worry dearest Mama, I will listen to what he has to say. But mind you, no promises.’ She knew what her decision would be but she thought it wise not to push the point now. She would need to think of the best way to tell Mama later.
  Princess Vera nodded, and kissed her daughter.
Tanya knew that this was not the end of the matter. 

CHAPTER 2 

A few days later Tanya drove with her parents on a visit to their friends, Count Vladimir and Countess Vera Shambeau. The wind was driving the snow almost horizontally. 
  ‘Mama, I’ve told you before I am not looking forward to seeing this man again,’ Tanya said as they approached the house. ‘I am sure he will be there tonight.’ 
  Princess Vera placed her hand on Tanya’s thigh and smiled sweetly. ‘And I’ve told you he might grow on you. Just give him an opportunity to talk to you, my dear.’ Then looking across at her husband, she added, ‘Isn’t that right Papa?’
  ‘Whatever you say, my dear,’ Prince Cyril replied.
  You just don’t seem to understand, Tanya thought, I didn’t want to come, but you put on such a show, I couldn’t refuse. Sure, the Shambeaus are renowned for holding soirées where one can meet important people in the capital. But Boonin! She shuddered at the thought.
  Denis swung the horses through a gateway into a circular drive and stopped under the porte-cochere. Footmen with powdered wigs, in green and white liveries, opened the carriage door and placed the footstool in front of it.
  ‘Prince and Princess Morozov and Mademoiselle Petrov,’ the usher announced them as they reached the salon.
  ‘Always glad to see you in our home, my dear Vera and Cyril,’ Count Vladimir came over to welcome his visitors. Then turning to Tanya, he kissed her hand. ‘My dear, welcome back. You look so enchanting. From now on I shall place my health problems in your charming hands. I am sure your Austrian professors have taught you the necessary skills to cure my ailments in no time.’
  ‘Please Count, don’t embarrass me. I am only a new doctor. You should entrust your health to those with much more experience than mine.’ She gave him a smile. Tanya rarely let people breach her defences. Count Vladimir Shambeau and his wife Anna were exceptions to the rule.
  ‘Tactful and modest as always,’ retorted Count Vladimir, taking Tanya by her arm. He steered her towards some people surrounding a man in the uniform with a blue sash.
  The men parted to clear the way for them and bowed.
  ‘General, please allow me to introduce Doctor Petrov to you,’ said Count Vladimir. ‘She is the daughter of Prince Cyril and Princess Anna Morozov, just back from Vienna with a medical diploma in her purse. My dear Tanya, this is General Sakharov, Chief of Staff of our War Minister.’
  ‘I am honoured to meet you, Your Excellency.’ Tanya blushed as the general kissed her hand.
  ‘The honour is all mine,’ beamed Sakharov. ‘I am most impressed to see a young lady being so successful. Can you tell me why you chose Austria for your medical education?’
  Surely he must know, Tanya said to herself. ‘I would have preferred to study medicine here, General.’ She fixed her eyes on Sakharov. ‘But women were not welcome in our medical schools.’
  The group stood still, looking at Sakharov. His face showed no reaction. There followed a silence which to Tanya seemed to last for a very long time.
  ‘If it were in my power, dear lady,’ he finally responded, ‘I would change things just for you. This country needs more doctors, and you are definitely more attractive than any doctor I know.’ His posture indicated that further discussion on the subject would be futile.
  Vladimir rushed with more introductions. The tall man in a black evening suit, with oily hair brushed back, was Mr. Bezobrazov. He was involved in a logging development in Korea. The smaller pudgy man with a round ruddy face was Admiral Abaza. He was chief of something or other in the Naval Department. Tanya could not remember all their names, though it was clear that all of them worked for the Government or had business dealings with it. St. Petersburg was like that.
  As Vladimir shepherded her away from the dignitaries, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, ‘Darling Tanya, I am sure he only wanted to know why you chose Austria for your studies, in preference to another country.’
  ‘I cannot stand that condescending attitude,’ Tanya fumed. ‘He seems to believe women are only good for small talk and being shown off as pretty ornaments.’ My dear Count, she thought, you are very kind and I love you, but you don’t understand. I must remember not to get upset over things like that; Lord knows they happen to me often enough. Besides, I came here to please Mama.
  ‘Dear Tanyichka, come and say hello to my dear wife,’ Vladimir said.
  As they approached, Countess Anna, a small and trim lady with a pointed nose, turned and threw her arms around Tanya in a bear hug. ‘My darling child, what a great pleasure to see you again,’ she shrieked with delight. ‘So beautiful and elegant. Let me have a look at your dress!’
  Tanya obliged by spinning around and showing off her full length white silk and lace dress with red accents. She had fixed her wavy auburn hair full at the sides and brushed up at the back, with a red ribbon tying up the top. As she was turning, she became aware that this exhibition was being watched by an officer. She stopped and spoke to the Countess, ‘It’s so nice to see you in good health and spirits, chère tante Anna.
  I am glad to be home.’ She smiled. ‘I hope you will allow me to call on you soon.’
  ‘My dear, what nonsense, I will be very upset if you don’t. I am simply dying to hear all about you. You know we love you so much!’
  ‘Indeed we do,’ echoed Count Vladimir. ‘You’ve always been like a member of our family. And now you must say hello to this charming man. Remember Boris Bobrov?’
  ‘Oh, I didn’t recognise you,’ Tanya said as she looked at the blonde, grey-eyed young Army officer with a moustache. ‘Hello Borya, it has been such a long time. You look very dashing.’ God, how many years have passed, she thought. Twelve, fifteen? The river, the hay-rides and looking for mushrooms in the forest. I wonder if he is as cheeky as he used to be then.
  ‘Hello Tanya,’ said Boris as he clicked his heels together and bowed formally. ‘I remember us playing hide and seek in the garden. You always found me, no matter how hard I tried to hide from you. But how different you look now. If you will permit me to say, you have matured into a positively captivating young lady.’
  ‘Oh, Tanya, I would like you to meet Count Alexander Orlov.’ Countess Anna pointed to another Army officer joining them. ‘He and Boris are serving in the Pavlovsk Regiment. They have been friends since their days at the Imperial Corps de Pages. Sasha, meet Doctor Tatiana Petrov, the daughter of Prince and Princess Morozov.’
  Tanya lifted her head to look up at the six foot tall frame of the man in immaculate black and gold braid tunic and white doeskin breeches.  She blushed, remembering Nanny’s little taunt. Thick dark brown hair covered his head and spilled across his forehead. His blue eyes were fixed on hers. She felt distinctly uneasy, experiencing a kind of transparency, as if he knew what she was thinking about. It was not a flirtatious type of look which she had often received. Now she found herself unable to ignore his gaze. ‘I am honoured Doctor Petrov.’ The baritone voice sounded measured and friendly, yet so authoritative. ‘It is indeed a privilege to meet you. Countess Anna told me about your great academic achievements. You are to be congratulated on your courageous perseverance.’
She felt vaguely threatened. Why should that be? ‘I am glad to make your acquaintance Count Orlov, you are very kind,’ she managed to say after a pause. She could no longer hold his gaze and turned toward Countess Anna, signalling a look asking for help.
Anna immediately took Tanya by the arm and said to the two officers, ‘You can talk to this lady later. I want her to meet the rest of the guests.’
  Tanya darling, are you all right?’ she whispered when they were some distance away.
  ‘Yes, yes, thank you Auntie,’ Tanya replied, her voice a little unsteady. She was never at ease meeting young men, but now a feeling of anxiety, almost fear, gripped her insides. She could not understand her reaction, and this made her even more tense.
  ‘Well, let me take you to your parents,’ Anna said. ‘I see they are talking to widow Stromberg and her son Victor. He is the fat one in the dinner jacket and satin waistcoat. See the jade buttons popping out of his belly?’ She gave Tanya a gentle nudge with her elbow.
  ‘Oh Auntie, you always know how to brighten up my mood,’ laughed Tanya, feeling the tension in her stomach relaxing. ‘Isn’t he the one marrying soon?’
  ‘The very one. To our Natasha. Mind you, she’s a bit young for marriage, only eighteen. But Victor comes from such a good family. His father has left him a lot of money, so that makes up for his lack of title. We tried to talk Natasha out of it, but you know how headstrong she is. Of course you must come to the wedding.’
  ‘I hear you are getting married soon, Monsieur Stromberg?’ Tanya asked the man with jade buttons on his waistcoat.
  'I have the honour to be engaged to young Countess Shambeau.’ Victor puffed out his chest, which made the buttonholes stretch to breaking point. ‘We are planning for a wedding early next year.’
  ‘Tanya dear, I had no chance to ask you before,’ said Natasha who joined the group and embraced Tanya. ‘But now that you are back in the country, can you please be one of my bridesmaids? Oh please, say yes!’
Victor is a bore, Tanya thought, but Natasha is so innocent and disarming. I can’t hurt her. ‘Thank you for thinking of me,’ she said, ‘I will be delighted to be your bridesmaid.’
Natasha kissed Tanya. ‘I am so happy,’ she gushed.
   Suddenly butterflies began to flutter in Tanya’s stomach again. Wedding! Boonin! She looked around the room, but he was not there.  Will I be able to keep my composure when he appears?

 CHAPTER 3 

The party at the Shambeaus was in full swing by ten o’clock.
    ‘See the tall man next to General Sakharov,’ Sasha whispered to Boris as they moved closer to the General who was still holding court. ‘He is Bezobrazov I told you about.’
     Sasha’s father, who knew these things, had told him that this fellow had charmed the Tsar into s  supporting his timber development in Korea. Russia had pledged withdrawing its troops from China by late 1903, the old man had explained, so how the hell are they going to protect the logging?
Bezobrazov made a sweeping gesture with his hand and said to the General, ‘His Imperial Majesty will leave our military in Manchuria and Korea.’
  Sasha was surprised; the man must have read my mind he thought.
  Sakharov made a sour face, as if to say, well you’ve got better access to the Tsar than I have.
  Suddenly Boris spoke up, ‘But sir, we have an obligation to live up to our agreements. How can we hope to be thought of as a civilised country, if we break our solemn treaties?’
  Sasha squeezed his friend’s arm but it was too late.
  Bezobrazov spun around and with a wry face looked up and down at the officer. ‘We signed the treaty with certain reservations. A lot has changed since then.’ Fixing his gaze on Boris’s uniform, he added, ‘And you, young man, are you an expert on foreign affairs? I don’t believe I had the honour…’
  ‘Boris Bobrov, at your service, sir. No, I am not an expert, but I would have thought common decency demands…’
  ‘Are you saying that His Imperial Majesty and his policy advisers lack these virtues?’ Bezobrazov cut him off.‘I had no intention to say any such thing.’ Boris’s face turned red. ‘I dare not pretend to know His Majesty’s attitude and intentions. I… I was merely pointing out that I refuse to believe that he could ever go back on his word.’
  ‘His Majesty will always act in Russia’s best interests.’
  ‘I have no doubt that…’
  But Bezobrazov had already turned away from Boris and addressed the General. ‘As I said before, I expect more news on this matter and I plan to travel to our Far East shortly to set up the venture.’
  ‘I wish you luck,’ Sakharov remarked wryly. ‘The Japanese believe Korea as their legitimate sphere of interest,’ he added.
  ‘Why worry about what those yellow midgets want!’ Bezobrazov retorted.
  No one answered the rhetorical question.
  Sasha took Boris by the arm and steered him away from the group. ‘Boris, why do you want to buy into these arguments?’ he asked him. ‘Why make enemies in high places?’
  ‘I detest people like him,’ snarled Boris. ‘They think they can change the rules to suit their purpose.’
  ‘So what is new?’ laughed Sasha. ‘Don’t tell me he is the only one.’
  ‘But it is intolerable to have people like him advising His Majesty.’
  ‘Cheer up Boris, forget about all this nonsense. Let’s concentrate on the party.’
  ‘All right, but just the same.’ Boris shook his head. Suddenly he brightened up. ‘Let’s go and talk to that charming doctor friend of mine. Did you like her?’
  ‘Yes, I thought she was interesting.’
  ‘Interesting?’ exclaimed Boris, ‘What is the matter with you, my friend? I think she is positively enchanting. Why can’t you show some enthusiasm?’
  ‘There was something strange about her; I can’t quite put a finger on what it is.’
  ‘She is a little aloof and quite awkward around men. She also does not like being kissed.’
  You?’ Sasha arched his eyebrows.
  ‘Alas, yes. I tried to steal a kiss from her.’
  ‘When was that, you devil?’
  ‘She was eleven, I think. It was just a joke, we were playing around.’
  ‘Perhaps she didn’t think it was a joke,’ said Sasha, smiling.
  ‘It’s possible. Anyway, maybe she’s changed in the last few years,’ said Boris as they approached Tanya, who was standing next to Victor, her pose betraying complete boredom.
  ‘Tanya,’ he addressed her, ‘I’ve just been saying to Count Orlov that you were always very ambitious.’
  Tanya tried to avoid looking at Sasha, but could not resist. Their eyes met. Intense blue eyes, she observed. An odd mixture of excitement and impending danger pulsed through her body. She felt her cheeks burning and lowered her eyes.
  Years of discipline at Smolny College had imbued her with an ability to appear calm and rational. But the emotion she was experiencing now was new. It was doubly disturbing, for she could not control it, nor could she give herself a logical diagnosis for its symptoms.
  ‘Doctor Petrov, I heard your parents have been invited to Natasha’s wedding,’ she heard the baritone voice saying.
  ‘Yes.’ She looked up and was met by his intense but friendly stare. She cast down her eyes again. ‘And just now I agreed to be one of her bridesmaids,’ she added.
  ‘I’ll be there also. I look forward to meeting you again on the day.’
  Tanya nodded, and turning to Boris asked him, ‘Are you going to be at the wedding?’
  ‘Oh yes, as a matter of fact I will be one of the groomsmen. Sasha is going to be Victor’s best man.’
Tanya relaxed a little and slowly turned to Sasha. His smile was still there, and somehow she perceived him a little less threatening this time.
  ‘Countess Anna told me you have been in Austria all these years,’ Sasha said. ‘How did you like it there?’
  ‘Very much. But my studies and the internship left very little time to savour all that Vienna offers.’
  ‘And what are your plans for the future, may I ask?’
  ‘I plan to get some hospital experience at the basic operating and treatment levels, before I decide what to do next,’ Tanya replied, warming up to the subject.
  ‘I think your determination is quite extraordinary. Progress in your chosen profession will be a little difficult in this country, I should imagine.’
  ‘More than a little,’ Tanya managed a wry smile. ‘At best I get patronising platitudes and at the other end astonishment and outright disbelief. But I am sure I can break through; I know of several women who are working as medical practitioners here in St. Petersburg. And more in Moscow.’
  ‘We wish you all the luck in the world Tanya,’ chimed in Boris, ‘I am sure I can speak on behalf of Count Orlov as well.’
  ‘Oh definitely,’ agreed Sasha, ‘you have my sincere good wishes for your success.’ The smile never left his face.
  His attitude is very reassuring, Tanya noted. Still, they can’t even begin to understand the obstacles put in my way. It’s easy for them; fathers having served in the guards and the army, connections in high places. And of course they are men! ‘Thank you. You are most kind,’ she said quietly.
  See, she told herself, I can hold his gaze with enough composure not to reveal the turmoil that is quickening my pulse. A nice specimen of the male species, she thought - pronounced cheekbones, eagle shaped nose. How apt, his name being Orlov. The vertical cleft, squarely in the middle of his chin is appealing.
  The study of the object of her attention was interrupted by the arrival of a new person. He was a tall and scraggy gentleman in formal evening attire. A thin white bow tie wrapped the shirt collar around his skinny neck, accentuating an enormous Adam’s apple. His body was stiff as he walked with slow and deliberate steps.
  The man approached Countess Anna and kissed her hand. After exchanging pleasantries with her he looked around the room and nodded his head without bending his back. His face showed no emotion, his thin lips firmly tight above his lantern-like jaw.
  Tanya’s composure faded as she saw Boonin approach her. He bowed and with his long fingers took her reluctantly outstretched hand. ‘Good evening Mademoiselle Petrov,’ he said dryly, kissing her hand. ‘I trust you are in good health?’
  ‘Thank you, sir, I am well,’ Tanya said, her voice breaking slightly. Her heart was now pumping fast, her throat dry and her stomach tied in a knot. My God, why can’t I control these awful sensations? Why can’t I force myself to be more than barely civil to this man? Why can’t I be like other people and take these things calmly and rationally?
  Boonin smoothed his receding straight black hair. ‘May I say how elegant you look tonight,’ he said in a matter-of-fact voice.
  Tanya figured he would be close to forty years old. She was struggling for a civil response when Anna again came to her rescue. She grasped Boonin’s elbow with her bony fingers, and turned him towards the two officers. ‘How remiss of me, I have not introduced you to these splendid defenders of our fatherland,’ she said sweetly. ‘I do not believe you’ve met Count Orlov. And this is Monsieur Bobrov.’
  The men bowed politely. Tanya noticed that Sasha’s smile turned into a puzzled look.
  ‘No, Countess Anna, I have not had the pleasure of meeting these gentlemen.’ said Boonin. He suddenly turned to Tanya. ‘Mademoiselle Petrov, may I have a few words with you in private?’
  Tanya blushed. She had hoped that the intervention by Anna had saved her from talking to this man. Now she had little choice but to accept.
  ‘Will you excuse us, please,’ said Boonin, not addressing or looking at anyone in particular, as he led Tanya away.
  He pulled up a chair at a small table in the corner of the room. She swept aside her gown and sat on the very edge of the chair. Boonin spread out his coat tails and sat on a chair a respectable distance from her. She steadied her trembling hands by clasping them together over her lap. Dear God, what now? Her head began to throb and feel painful as if a steel hoop was tightening around it. What does he want from me? I should never have come here.
  There followed a silence which seemed to her like an eternity.
  ‘Mademoiselle Petrov,’ Boonin spoke at last. ‘My Mama has discussed some matters with your mother.’ He paused. ‘The subject being my regard for you.’
  Tanya kept staring at her hands. She was numb all over. Please dear Jesus, not here, not now!
  But it was here and now that the next lot of words came. ‘I have been extremely impressed by you, Mademoiselle Petrov. I have the deepest respect for you and your parents. In short I believe you could make me a very happy man by accepting my marriage proposal.’
  Tanya finally looked up at the man. He was emotionless, waiting for her reaction. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her eyes welled with fear and helplessness.
  Fortunately Boonin did not allow her discomfort to continue. ‘Please don’t say anything now. I understand this is all very sudden and you need to reflect on my offer. May I call on you next week?’
  Tanya’s mouth remained half-open for a few moments. I expected him to declare his feelings for me, she thought, but asking me to marry him just like that, in the middle of the soirée?
  Boonin took her silence for consent.  ‘Thank you. Then it is settled; now I shall seek your parents’ permission to call on you. My deepest respects.’
  He got up, bowed ceremoniously, turned on his heels and walked away slowly towards Cyril and Vera who were sitting on a settee in the opposite corner.
  Tanya watched Boonin talk to them. Every now and then they looked her way, and nodded their heads repeatedly. She looked away for a few seconds, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. The next time she looked up, Boonin was gone.