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SUPA GOGO-A TALL TALE
MISSION POSSIBLE Before I start my story let me explain what ‘Gogo’ [pronounced gohgoh] means. This is what children living in South Africa call their grannies. The Supa part comes with the fact that they have magic powers which can see and do things that other people cannot even imagine. It’s a bit like Cat woman only much better. Cat woman has x-ray eyes and can only fly in movies, but Supa Gogo’s can see everything without having x-ray eyes and can fly in real life. When we Supa gogo’s go to sleep at night we can go inside ourselves to dream and remember what it was like to be a child. That is why we never become very angry with children. I discovered my magic powers several years ago after my mom, a Grand Gogo, knitted me a pair of bright pink bed socks. I needed these because my feet are always cold and I have funny hips. Everybody says that my hips are this way because I am old, but this is not so. One evening when I tried to fly I crashed into my bedroom wall. Now my hips are like a bicycle that has been in an accident, they wobble. Grand Gogo’s are people who also have magic powers. But they’ve already done their duty by protecting their grandchildren it is now their job to knit magic socks. This is to make sure that we do not become an extinct species like the dinosaurs. If this had to happen all the people in the world would be in trouble as there are creatures with long shadows living under plants in every single garden on earth. They can make human beings very unhappy. Not the children, nor moms and dads even know about this, as they are too busy working to pay for everything. Although we should not underestimate mommy power as she is preparing to become a Supa and Grand Gogo after all.
One evening, just after I put on my brand new pink socks for the first time I suddenly heard one of my grandsons call my name. He is nine years old, his name is Tyler and he has a younger brother called Jordan. I looked up in surprise as I was alone in my bedroom. As I did this I lifted off my bed and flew right through the ceiling, this time without crashing into the wall. I was flying so fast that the four winds which come from the four corners of earth stared at me with their mouths hanging open in surprise. I think that I must have looked like a shooting star because the ends of my hair caught fire. They quickly saved me by blowing out the flames. Thank goodness for that as I would not have liked to arrive at Tyler’s side with no hair and a burnt face! I also left my magnifying glasses which I wear at all times at home. I don’t think he would have recognized me. I landed neatly on his bed and found him crying into his pillow. He was not at all surprised to see me and he hugged me tight. Jordan remained fast asleep in his own bed. Tyler told me a very sad story. He did not have friends and nobody wanted to play with him at school. So as not to wake his brother, I softly whispered to tell him the secret about the creatures with long shadows that live under plants. His eyes grew big as he became very frightened. I smiled, hugged him close and kissed his cheek. Then I explained that there were not many of those on school playgrounds but sometimes a few manage to sneak in. They are not very brave when faced with many children, but like to bully a child who is alone. Then I told him another secret. This I do not often talk about because it is a secret weapon. We are only allowed to call on these in extreme emergencies. Under the plants are also creatures with no shadows. These hide there to protect and remove sadness from humans. Only a Supa Gogo has the power to see and call them into action. Tyler was very surprised at this and wanted to know whether the baddies were going to kill the goodies. Again I smiled as I explained; bad can never, ever kill good as there has to be bad so that we can recognize good. Can you imagine having only good? That will surely be very boring as then we will have no choices. By having both we will hopefully choose wisely. Some people make mistakes and pick the bad. By doing this they subconsciously and indirectly harm all living things on earth. Everything is connected and dependant on each other in some way. This you will get to understand as you follow this story. He curiously wanted to know where to find the creatures with no shadows. I told him to look under the plants in the schoolyard. I promised also to look for them and send them to help him. I sat holding his hand until we both fell asleep. I woke up in my own bed, my pink socks on the pillow next to my head. To this day I do not know how I got home?
All trees have faces but they’re not always easy to find. It is a known fact between Supa Gogo’s that most trees face into the direction where the sun will rise while sleeping. Birds are very noisy as it is their job to sit on branches to wake trees. They also gather noisily every evening in tree tops to put trees to sleep. Only the very old and wise trees need a longer rest as they are filled with wisdom accumulated over many years. This can be very tiring as wisdom is very heavy. They close their eyes and turn their faces toward the ground to avoid the sun and birds. Trees are very weird because if they do not look at something they cannot hear it. When we humans wake up we put the light on and when we go to sleep we put the light off. We have electricity and the trees have birds. In South Africa we have one bird to wake all the other birds before sunrise. He is known as the Master of Ceremonies. This bird calls out the same tune every day. To me it sounds like Pete my frau-Pete my frau. No matter where I visit, this is the first bird whose song I hear everyday. This works like the alarm clock that we humans use to wake ourselves. Supa Gogo’s are also filled with wisdom and that is why we cannot run and jump like children. We also need more rest. The Grand Gogo’s are so filled with wisdom that some of them fall asleep while people are talking to them.
The next morning I was wobbling through my garden before sunrise, in the dark so as not to let on that I was there. Because trees hide their faces from humans, we have to sneak up on them. I never fall in the dark because I have a walking stick. His name is Joe. He can talk and supports me when I walk. I also use him as a weapon to hit out at creatures with long shadows. He is my closest friend and always warns me when danger is near. He has even caught me a few times when I lost my balance as his one end is bent like a hook. After a long search a little baby tree pointed up with one of its branch arms at a very tall tree. This can be very confusing if you don’t know what you are looking for. I looked up into the oldest face that I have ever seen. Even Santa looks young compared to this face. It had a beard as long as a hundred big steps up high, which touched the ground at my feet. The very old wise tree invited me up as he was ready to whisper secrets. Trees hardly ever shout, not even the small ones. They rustle their leaves softly when they talk or else they silently point in the right direction with their branch arms. It is a well known fact between Supa Gogo’s that wisdom is never ever shouted out from tree tops. Only the four winds can make trees loose their cool. Then they shake and shout until they loose all their leaves. This is not a bad thing as they always grow new and better leaves afterwards. I knew that I had to get up there somehow but I have wobbly hips, remember? Then Joe had a bright idea. He always lights up to look like a lightning bolt when this happens. He told me to sit down and rest while he fetched my magic pink socks. I sat down on a large rock under the tree and Joe disappeared. He always does this as he is very fast. What happens when I cannot see him or even when I can, I do not know. As I was sitting there, patiently waiting, the rock under me moved and groaned. I got such a fright that I landed on my back. I looked up in surprise and saw that the rock had a very small mouth but no eyes or nose. I carefully sat up to find out what was wrong. He told me, between soft gasps of dust, that it was too hot as the big old tree had moved its toes. This puzzled me as I did not know that trees had toes. He explained to me that the roots of trees were their toes. I was still puzzled as I could not understand what the toes of a tree had to do with the heat of a rock. Then he told me a very scary story. In the middle of the earth, under our feet, there is a huge fire that burns all the time, day and night. This fire is so hot that it melts rocks. Sometimes the earth coughs and burps up hot rock acid. This first becomes rocks to eventually grow into the mountains that we see and climb. This is also the way that earth expands to accommodate all living creatures as we multiply all the time. This fire is so hot that it could evaporate all of earth’s water. The only way to protect all living things on earth from this is tree toes. All living things on earth need water. The scary part of this story is that trees are getting cut down at an alarming rate by humans. These are the humans who picked the bad instead of the good choices. Suddenly I understood why trees hide their faces from humans. Some humans also burn inside. Then they go to see a doctor about it. The human condition is called an ulcer. Medication for our burning is called anti-acid. So there we go, humans use anti-acid when they burn and the earth uses tree toes. The earth also has a doctor. I have been told by younger trees that only Grand Gogo’s can see this doctor who glows in the dark. They warned me that I would need protected eyes to see this. This protection gives the human eye a slightly grey colour. The next time you see Grand Gogo’s; have a good look at their eyes. Our doctors call this cataract and always try to remove it. The earth doctor’s name is Dr. Gravity. This is the weakest, yet strongest energy in the whole Universe; which holds everything together. It keeps the stars from bumping into each other and lives inside every living thing. The strangest part of this story is that this energy also lives in the huge fire burning under our feet in the centre of the earth. I must have looked very puzzled because the rock very quickly explained that there are four elements; fire, water, air and earth. Then he softly added that the fifth element is balance. To balance all, is to save all he said. He started coughing again and blew hot dust into my face. He could not talk anymore after this. I hugged him close to blow into his small mouth. By doing this I hoped to blow out some of the heat which was making him too hot.
Suddenly Joe was by my side with my pink socks. He helped me back onto the rock where he slipped the socks onto my feet as I watched without seeing him do it. I looked up and suddenly I was in the very old and wise tree’s face. He bristled until I was sitting on a branch sprouting from his cheek. Then he severely warned me to never, ever fly into his face again. He rather loudly informed me that this was the reason why he had such a long beard. He liked to watch us humans approach as he did not trust us at all. I nearly dropped from my perch with fright. He put out a branch arm to catch me just in time. I explained to him about my wobbly hips but he impatiently told me that this was a really bad excuse. Then I blamed my magic pink socks. He shook his face in denial and then he pried the knitting apart to find tiny gears and brakes hidden there. I quickly complained about my fingers being too large to grip these. Then he promptly ripped several hairs from my head which he tied singularly to these tiny appendages. Of course I shrieked loudly as this was very painful. He tied knots in each hair. This I watched with fascination as I had never seen such tiny hands before. One knot to lift, two knots to go forward, three knots to reverse and four knots to go down. The hair with five knots was a speed control gear. Up for speed, down to slow and if the middle knot touched the wool then I would cruise at a very comfortable speed where I would see all and miss nothing. He warned to always wear my magnifying glasses when flying. This way I would not get hold of the wrong hair at the wrong time. He also made me promise to get a licence before time expires. I put my hand over my wrist watch as I promised. Doing it this way means that the promise was not made to earth time. It would be hanging out there in the Universe somewhere until I fulfilled it. Once we sorted that out, I wanted to know how to summon the creatures with no shadows. Before he pulled me close to whisper a secret in my ear, he told me about a human who was named after trees. Her name was Twiggy, a willowy slip of a girl. In the 1960’s she became world famous as a model for the huge Mary Quant fashion empire. At the same time a band called Credence Clear Water Revival sang a song about a bad moon rising to warn us about things to come. It is very obvious if you think about the names of the band and song. There are no coincidences in life as Dr. Gravity has everything under loving control. Even before this a band called The Beatles appeared. I assume to warn us about insecticides? They sang a song called ‘It is a hard day’s night’ Sensible people as in reality there is no day or night. All is actually one and only here in earths atmosphere do we have night when we hang upside down to hide from the heat of the sun. When I leaned back to thank him I found that he was fast asleep. He was obviously a Grand tree. I pulled the correct hair to go down but forgot about speed control and crashed into the rock next to Joe. He checked me for broken bones before helping me to my feet. Fortunately I was only bruised but the rock was shattered and drifted away in huge clouds of dust. Then I noticed that the one lens of my magnifying glasses was cracked. I somehow knew that this was a good thing as I would now have double vision. I informed Joe that I knew the first secret. The map to the creatures with no shadows started at the pond. He looked very puzzled as there was not a pond in my garden. I ordered him to double check and handed him my spectacles. He looked, smiled and suddenly we were there. He carefully advised me to pick only one pond. This was easy as I could only see one. Joe nearly fainted with shock. I took hold of him and retrieved my spectacles. After replacing them I also nearly fell down. Up till this day I do not know who was supporting who.
There were two ponds. One was deep, dark and slimy; the other one blue, clear and inviting. I had picked the wrong one! We walked over to the wrong pool where we found a school of gold fish, consisting of several million, swimming around in the shallow end. Joe tapped lightly on a rock half submerged in the water. It stared up at us. This rock had only one eye. I questioned it but got no reply. Joe suggested eye language. As I have never heard of such a thing I suggested that he try. He was very sad as he told me that he did not have an eye; that he could not even cry when he was sad. Although he could see all else he was unable to see another eye. Our souls, which reside within our human bodies, peep out through our eyes so they are referred to as windows. These we can also use to look inward. The answer to every question, past, present and future, is lodged deeply within us. Poor Joe does not have a soul as he is made from the corpses of dead trees. He exits to assist me, nothing more. The rock cried when it heard the story. It looked up at us, its sad eye gleaming wetly from under the water. I put my hand into the water to comfort it but the little gold fish surrounded it to protest. I hurriedly pulled my hand back in shock. They put their mouths above the water to harmonize in chorus. The song explained that if the rock had to run out of sad stories it would stop crying and then the pool would dry up. Directly below the rock was a natural spring living happily under tree toes. Without a proper outlet water becomes untamed and flows to a place called City Abuse. Here millions of humans live in a tiny space considering the size of earth. Even before water reaches there, it is sick and dirty. City Abuse tries to fix this by adding chemicals which kill the soul of water. After using this concoction until it rots they find untamed clear rivers, pools and even oceans to dump the water corpses into. This in turn slowly spreads to poison the earth. Here in South Africa we have mine dumps which poison the earth at such an alarming rate as to cause it to crack open in protest. Humans dig very deep holes to retrieve gold which is lodged four tenths from the earth’s centre. Worldwide old people adorn themselves with this substance to defy age. This obviously does not work! All plants and trees growing close by to an experience like this hang their heads listlessly in sorrow. They are ill and confused because most birds are fed up with City Abuse and have relocated to better living conditions. As dirty and soulless water also evaporates from City Abuse, the four winds from the four corners of earth are suffering from damaged and painful lungs. This makes it hard for them to blow and this is why earth has tsunamis, earth quakes, floods and droughts. Hurricanes and tornados are the four winds protesting as one against abuse. I was sternly ordered by the fish, in one voice, to keep the secret about my pond. I sincerely promised to do so twice while covering my wristwatch with my hand. I looked up and around and noticed that there were many very large, old and wise trees surrounding the pond. I found this very confusing as I was sitting in my own garden which did not have a pond and only two very old trees. When I questioned the fish about this they harmonized to let me know that they did not know anything about what I was asking. Then a fish slightly larger than the rest piped to tell me to find the guard of the pool, a large frog, who sits on a ledge above the royal waterfall. The school of fish disappeared into the depths of water and the rock closed its eye.
I checked with Joe whether he had recorded everything. He proudly confirmed that he did. I was relieved as I could not remember receiving instructions on how to find the royal water fall. I suggested that he lead the way and very shortly we were lost. This upset him so greatly that he ran into four directions at the same time. As I was holding on to him he was pulling me along. One minute I was with my great grandparents four generations back and the next, four generations ahead where I saw my offspring in multitudes. In between I was pulled from the South to the North Pole. There is nothing scarier than a walking stick out of control! Eventually he tired and we landed with a soft bump in the Sunken Gardens in Durban, Kwa-Zulu Natal, situated next to the beach. This is a coastal city in a province which has a misty bubble surrounding it. Once you fall through the wall of the bubble everything slows down. This is so because the Ocean nearby blows out a fine mist called humidity consisting of a thin cloud heavily held down by large pockets of salt. This also explains why we did not get hurt as we landed. On the way down we kept on bumping into the salt pockets which slowed our fall a million times to one. The only problem that I had with Durban at that time was that once through the wall, humans and walking sticks immediately slow down as well. This condition is known as Natal fever. I was in a great hurry to find the creatures with no shadows as I knew that Tyler was waiting. He was living in Johannesburg which is a faster time. This could become a long time when unhappy. Unknown to Joe and I, we were already slow. Slow time can also mean no time. So there we were stuck in Durban without a bother. We had a committee of very slow flying mosquitoes greet us. This does not affect Joe but makes me itch like crazy. I had to dive under the waves of the Ocean several times to stop scratching. Together with them the Durban sun had a very warm welcoming committee called ray’s which also forced me to dive under waves. This way the Ocean could examine whether I was carrying illnesses and germs. I was not from this province after all and who knew what travelled with me?
Joe and I spent many days watching the police patrol the beach on horse back. I secretly wondered what the fish were making of this new dish added to their menu. One day while relaxing on the beach Joe told me impossible things about big and small. He said that there are more stars in the heavens than what there are grains of sand on all of earth’s beaches. I gaped at him in disbelieve. Then I quietly gazed at the beach as I tried to work this out. No amount of calculating could bring forth a clear picture in my mind. The next day he threw an even bigger twister at me. He told me that there are more atoms in one drop of water than there are stars in the heavens. I was completely stunned. He laughed at the expression on my face and playfully advised me not to go there, as my human mind had not yet evolved to grasp this. I reminded him that I was a Supa gogo. With this he agreed but slyly added that humans use only ten percent of their brain capacity. I very quickly reminded him of Uri Geller who bent spoons and fixed watches over radio waves in the late sixties and early seventies. Joe lazily replied to inform me that the man used only a quarter extra. Things like these cause me sleepless nights. Other people count sheep; I count bent spoons, stars and water atoms. Once healed and cleansed I was gratefully released to enter the city. Joe was in his element as we passed many walking sticks for sale along a pavement. Two sticks made in Durban called Evil and Knievel invited us to come for a drink at the next pub. A wooden giraffe called Johnny came along. He was a distant cousin of Joe’s as they were made from the same tree. Joe was much exited as he informed me that he had at last discovered his roots. This took a very long time which I obviously did not notice. I could also not follow the conversation as Gogo’s can only hear the voice of the stick which belongs to them. After one drink too many Joe hooked me by the neck to drag me outside. He was very angry as he told me that Evil and Knievel boasted that they were the champions of Durban and the fastest moving sticks around. When Joe protested they challenged him to a race which was to take place after midnight. Although highly illegal, this is a well known event in Durban called street racing. Joe was not impressed as they did not have hooks to hold them back but knobs to make them go faster. He referred to them as turbo charged idiots. Then he sarcastically wondered out aloud, about what their bad attitudes were doing to the tourist industry of the city? I smiled as I told him that he is no different from any other male. He walked in front of me for the rest of the way. Shortly we found ourselves back in the Sunken Gardens. No matter how hard we tried, we could not leave. At this stage Joe was not much help either he had become so slow that I was dragging him along behind me. Fortunately we found a vacant green apartment with large windows hanging from a tree into which we promptly moved. We had an excellent view of our surroundings which was lush and green. After a few days of walking forwards and backwards at the same time, a bird landed on my shoulder. Thank goodness for this as we were also turning green by this time. We were actually, slowly turning into plants, as earth always reclaims whatever is not used. He introduced himself as an Indian Mynah and boasted that all busses in Durban carried his name to honour him. He then told us that both Joe and I would have to undergo a smudging before getting out. I promptly agreed and followed him to where the witch of the garden lived. She sat on a healthy green rock with a full face surrounded by lush plants. All plants in Kwa-Zulu Natal are healthy thanks to the Ocean’s protection. She smiled and introduced herself as Sister Sangoma. The Indian Mynah instructed that we bend our knees so that our heads were one head below her. He explained that this was a sign of respect. We promptly complied. She pulled a small dish filled with dry grass from under the plants. This she set alight by spitting into it. The Indian Mynah informed us that this grass was known as Durban Poison. Sister Sangoma leaned forward to place the dish of smouldering grass under my nose telling me to inhale deeply, to protect me against the wrongful use of it. She did the same to Joe and when we looked up she was gone and so was the Indian Mynah. Suddenly I was very hungry and thirsty. Joe felt the same. He added that when fuelled by hunger he became semi fast again. I held tightly onto him as he sped off.
Suddenly we found ourselves in a very grand restaurant, inside a beach front hotel. In front of me was a delicious meal, very colourful. As I was going to plunge my fork into it, it protested loudly. I fell off my chair in shock. Joe quickly helped me up but it took quite awhile before I had the courage to face my meal again. When I eventually sat down I noticed that it had a little face. She introduced herself as Sushi. She was a model from Japan out on display. She informed me that she did not dress up to be eaten as she was waiting to be discovered. She had come a long way to find her success. I apologized after which I wanted to know what I could eat instead. She advised me to go to the Indian market where I would find all sorts of food. After this she suggested; ‘ogay otay hetay itchenkay hereway eway ereway otay istenlay otay hetay hiefCay hef’sCay ongsay asay histay asway hetay oadmapray otay hetay dianIay arketmay. This is a secret language called ‘Gibberish’ very easy to speak if you know how. Example: John = ohnJay. The first letter in the word gets moved to be the last letter and then you add ay. This works with nearly every spoken word in the world. If you cannot move the first letter to the back you add ay anyway. There is another secret language which you can only read called ‘Less.’ This is what we use in extreme emergencies and I might teach you this later if I happen to find myself in such a situation. Durban is a city where many Indian people live. They were brought to South Africa in the nineteenth century to work in the sugar cane fields. They worked so hard that Dr. Gravity decided that they could own part of the place if they were willing to share it with the Zulu’s who were here first. As Indians like striking a bargain they promptly agreed. The Zulu’s are a very tough and proud nation so the Indians had to strike another bargain with them. This is what they are good at after all. In Kwa-Zulu Natal they are known as the negotiators and the Zulu’s as the warriors. White and coloured people are not really important in this part of our country but as we are part of the human race we are welcomed anyway. South Africa is known world wide as the Rainbow Nation after all. We thanked Sushi and as I turned around to find the kitchen Joe swung me around to face the wrong way. He quietly told me that we had to walk fifty steps backwards which would bring us into the kitchen. When I enquired about this he told me that if we had to see the Chief Chef’s face, we would be caught up in slave labour where we would have to work very long hours for a minimum wage. I promptly allowed him to lead the way. Soon we were in the kitchen where we intently listened. This is what we heard; Durban is very slow No matter how fast you go You can run for the gate The bus will certainly be late Only the taxis go very fast Loud and colorful as they drive past You can stand anywhere Tightly clasping the correct fare Lift your hand very high Up toward the sky Signaling to your mini bus That you are in a rush The driver will blow his hooter And barely miss a scooter To stop a with a loud screech Where his partner, toward you will reach To help you into the back Faster than a whip can crack Onto your bag you tightly hold As you relax into the taxi’s fold Making your bottom very small To fit in between them all Clasping your knees very tight Making yourself very slight Becoming something very small Even if you are very tall Off we go; the music pumping loud Everybody sitting tight and proud Everything is going to be fine As we are going to be on time The partner is hanging from the door Parcels are strewn all over the floor The fare getting passed along To the rhythm of a song We bowed facing the wrong way as we thanked him. As this was a Japanese Chief Chef, not to bow would have been disrespectful and cause us to loose face. To go through life faceless is a horrifying experience! Joe told me that all workers, soldiers, worker bees and ants are faceless, just another statistic. Scary! He also told me that the economies of several countries are growing to such an extent that the human queen bees are fast becoming billionaires. Then he added that Dr. Gravity has a plan to share this surge in fortune with faceless people. Technology! Worldwide workers are striking and protesting for wage increases as they are becoming aware of what is happening. Without the workers the human queen bees are doomed to become as poor as the faceless people who are making them rich.
Joe took hold of me and within the next minute we found ourselves on the pavement outside the hotel. There were many colorful taxis playing very loud music driving past. I held my hand up high, up toward the sky and was very disappointed when none of them stopped. Then Joe made a suggestion which had me gasping in shock. He advised that we find the closest Nigerian drug lord. I sternly informed him that drugs make people ill and stupid. He laughed then he explained that the man whom we were to look for sold only sunglasses, hats and lip balm. I wanted to know why a drug lord would sell these. He patiently explained that all people living in Durban were addicted to these things as the sun was three times hotter here than anywhere else in the country. He also told me that anything done in excess is an addiction, even love ! Love as humans perceive it is a mere blink in the calendar of time, if one stops long enough to analyze this funny behavior between us. The earth is millions of years old after all and many humans live with insecurities for the sake of love. They view other humans as opposition and competition. And yet we all have our own set of fingerprints. Nobody; dead, alive and still to come will ever have our fingerprints. We can never have enough of true love as Dr. Gravity meant it to be. True love does not discriminate and respects all living things. It is also timeless to move on with us through the rest of our lives, here and after. This at the moment is in short supply, so Dr. Gravity is allowing very weird ailments to attract our attention like TB, Sugar Diabetes and Aids who claims to be - Positive? to mention a few. And let us not forget Cancer who boasts that it – Can? Plus broken hearts (maybe the worst?) This unseen ailment of the spirit society refers to psychiatrists and therapists to fix. Maybe they became these specialists as to find out why their own hearts are broken? As we were walking along I wanted to know why we needed sunglasses, a hat and lip balm to stop a taxi. Joe smiled as he explained that without the correct fare the taxis would not stop. He went on to reveal his plan to me. As I am a Gogo, I looked old enough to be blind. With Joe’s support, sunglasses to hide my eyes and a hat to collect money in, we were going to become beggars for a while. The lip balm was to keep my lips moist while I pleaded for money. I did not really like this idea but had to go along with it as Tyler was waiting for me. We searched for several days along the same street before we found what we were looking for. The man was big, muscular, very black and beautiful. He introduced himself as Dr. Feelgood. He had gold filled teeth and a diamond stud in his left ear. He wore an expensive leather jacket although it was very hot. He also wore tight denim jeans and crocodile loafers who bared their teeth at us. I immediately noticed that his gold wristwatch was ticking in the wrong direction. Because of this I knew that we were not on the same wave length and decided not to say a word. After he gave Joe a quotation my poor walking stick fell over in shock. I quickly picked him up to find that the price was way beyond our means. By this time I was nearly as thin as Joe from lack of food. Suddenly and very conveniently the Indian Mynah bird which we met in the Sunken Gardens landed on the doctor’s shoulder to negotiate for us. This took a very long time in slow time and goodness alone knows how long we were there. Nigerian drug dealers run a close second to anything remotely Indian when it comes to striking a bargain. By the time we had what we needed the doctor’s jacket had several white runny streaks across the shoulders as the Indian Mynah refused to leave before the deal was done.
Joe hooked me by the ankle to drag me to “The Point” in Durban to a large marine world. It is known as U Shaka, named after a Zulu king who ruled here many years ago. Joe sat me down to prepare me for the occasion. There were several other beggars who had already marked their spot. They all wore boards around their necks to explain their predicament. Joe explained that I would have to sing for our supper as hanging a board would not work. The competition was way too steep. I looked at him anxiously as I could not sing very well. He went on to explain that I would have to do this in the Zulu way as many foreigners worldwide frequented this marine world. They did not have Zulu’s where they came from and always paid well to be entertained this way. I looked down at my white skin which was fast turning red by this time as I wondered how on earth I was going to achieve this. Of course Joe had another plan where we were to swap colors for a while. His natural color is mahogany brown. So there I was mahogany brown, wearing dark glasses and lip balm, clutching a yellow hat in one hand and a snow white stick in the other. But I still did not know how and what to sing. Joe advised that I think back to the trip where we visited my great grandparents four generations back, to find my roots. I promptly obeyed to find that only two generations back my great Grand Gogo was a black servant girl. This greatly confused me as I was white. Joe told me that most Caucasian men found black girls to be awesomely beautiful. I had to agree as I also found them to be so. I quickly stepped back in time to confer with my black great Grand Gogo. She advised me to sing about the suffering of the black people under the ‘apartheid regime’ as this must never, ever be forgotten. No matter what color people are, we are all equal. I quickly put my hand over my wristwatch and promised to remember. She told me that under our skins we all have the same face and that we are all running the same race. She called it a rat race? She also told me that when we leave here we all return to the same place. As I did not appreciate being referred to as a rat I pondered about relocating to America. She laughed out loud about my foolishness. She quickly informed me that I would then be sent to a very dry and barren country where people suddenly disappear with a loud bang; only to return to the same place anyway. Then she informed me that this was so, because although Dr. Gravity managed to drag the man out of the bush, It could not get the bush out of the man. I knew this to be true as America’s president’s name is George Bush. I immediately decided to remain where I was. In South Africa we at least have a chance to negotiate for our lives. A miracle was achieved when our previous president, Nelson Mandela, led us through a change of government by negotiating without explosions. Then she suddenly disappeared, to reappear with a very concerned look on her face. I wanted to know what was troubling her. She told me that she had been summoned by descendants of ours who resided on the other side of the globe. There was a huge problem looming; if Turkey was to be attacked from the rear, would Greece help? When I questioned and offered my assistance on the matter she told me that I could not help. She explained that although I was supposed to have been born free I would need a passport to go there. Then she advised for me to find professor Fossil. He would enlighten me about the earth’s puzzle and explain flat worms and a DNA chain to me. This secret is why South Africa is referred to as the cradle of humanity. He resided under a shipwreck to be found inside U Shaka. The route to his home was to float on a stream which disappeared into a cave under the wreck. Lastly she required for me to be patient and understanding with the crime wave in our country. Then she pulled me into her arms to teach me a song.
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